bisquickgoddess (bisquickgoddess) wrote,

Life is like a yo-yo

The weather was perfect for the Daylily and Wine Festival on Saturday. I bought three bottles and have wine lists from other wineries so I can track down other wines I liked but didn't want to buy or carry that day. I bought a white, a red, and a dessert, all of which I'll probably save until Christmas, which will probably be the next time my family is all together again.

My sister leaves for Ecuador tomorrow. I'm excited for her, but a little depressed as well. She has been extremely busy this summer, to the point that she was worried about burning out. Her first month should be a language-intensive class only, so hopeful she can slow down her life as she works on the fundamentals.

Yesterday in lab I broke a small antechamber door on a glove box. It capped off what was not so great a day for me. It's harder for me to let go of things than is healthy. I know I'm not the first to do that, and it certainly won't be the last thing I break. And I know that just because I worked very slowly yesterday doesn't have any reflection on my ability to do quality work. Even though I'm in much better hands now, I still have to admit I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. Not nearly to the same extent, just like I'm kind of behind and need to get good quickly.

So, the break-up with my old advisor was very quick when it happened. Senior grad student later confessed that he had tipped her off, but only because she had asked him directly for an update on me. I'm not sure I believe his exact story on it, but I'm not upset that he broke the news so I wouldn't have to. Get this, the reason why it didn't work out was because I wasn't dedicated to the research and my work style didn't mesh with the way the group did things. How would you even know if I'm dedicated or not, you're never around to see me! She asked if there was anything I wished to say, and there were so many things on my mind to say, but I said I had nothing I wanted to say at this time. Because honestly, if she's in that much denial, there's no way anything I said would get through. It would just rile us both up and I was ready to not be riled up anymore.

So a few weeks pass, I have my last counselling appointment and I think everything's going to work out. Then I get an email from the grants supervisor asking me to come in. It turns out that my advisor wants to recoup the salary from the four days I took off while she was hobnobbing in China. The supervisor was very adamant that I would not be out a cent and the department would handle this expense for me. As soon as I get an email from the payroll office, I need to let them know so they can write me a check so I can pay the money back. He also said that he's in no position to agree or disagree with the move, as the grant money is my former advisor's and she has full reign over it. So yeah, that pissed me off, kinda. Sure, it is her money, and yes, the department will cover it. But goodness, who else is going to use that money?

Anyway, I need to get ready for the day. Maybe the O's will manage a win this afternoon.
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